The Trouble with Twilight, Part 2

And now the exciting conclusion of my thoughts on the Twilight series.

SPOILER ALERT: If you have not read the books, intend to do so, and wish to be surprised as to the events therein, you may not want to read the rest of this post.

As I mentioned in yesterday's entry, I found the Twilight series to be problematic. While the writing style didn't entirely agree with me, the chief issues I had with the books involved the content of the story itself. First, the female protagonist, Bella, becomes nearly suicidal when her vampire boyfriend, Edward, breaks up with her in the second book. While I found it a clever device to label consecutive pages after the breakup scene only December, January, February, etc., to express that time has gone by in a blur for a little while, I have a definite problem with the fact that the character feels that she would rather die than live without her boyfriend. Furthermore, once the two are back together at the end of the book, Edward forbids Bella to see her werewolf best friend. This controlling behavior is justified, and almost glorified. Bella explains it away by saying that he doesn't really mean it; he just doesn't understand. Does this seem like a slippery slope to anyone else? Being that the primary audience for these books is the teenage girl, what kind of message is this sending?

The fourth book also presents several problems. First of all, it represents a complete departure in that all of the other three at least maintain some connection to a reality-based scenario; Bella attends school, has awkward adolescent interactions with her parents, and other normal teenage activities. By the fourth installment, she and Edward are married, she becomes pregnant with a half-vampire child who attempts to claw its way out of her body such that she needs to drink blood to calm it down, and she is made into a vampire so that she will not die from the delivery. (No, I'm not making that up.)

The fact that Bella became a vampire is something that bothered me quite a bit. Throughout the series she begs Edward to turn her, and through a near-death experience, she gets her wish. My stepmom Deanna put the main issue with this turn of events best by saying that Bella chose death. She is then rewarded by becoming the most beautiful and powerful vampire, and having the "perfect" child and "perfect" family, for eternity. Again, the message the story sends is extremely questionable. The story is pure adolescent wish fulfillment, which can explain its popularity amongst that demographic, and also adults who want to escape into that kind of a fantasy.

I will admit, I got sucked in and read the entire series in a matter of a couple weeks. The author did have a knack for driving the story along. I just found too many things that really bothered me about the story to truly enjoy it. I'm sure there are many, many folks out there who disagree with me. Those of you who have read the books, what are your thoughts?

A brief word about Harry Potter; The Trouble with Twilight, Part 1

Before I begin today's topic, I wanted to follow up on a comment to my post "One by One" in which Chuck reminded himself to write a defense of torture porn on his blog. To read his perspective on this horror sub-genre, head over to nogameforme.blogspot.com and check out the entry for July 23, 2009.

Now, I have a confession to make. I have read, and enjoyed, all of the books in the Harry Potter series, and have seen all the associated movies. Not to the level of attending book releases or movies on opening night in costume or anything of that nature, but I do have an appreciation for the works; I suppose I would be what you might call a casual fan. I resisted for quite some time, but finally gave in, and am glad that I did so. I find the plots complex but coherent, the characters for the most part very well developed, and writing style fit to appeal to a very wide audience. Plus, they are just a fun read. It seems to me that the films are most appropriate as a companion or supplement to the books. They are well-made, with an impressive depth of acting talent, particularly among the adult actors, who are always restrained enough not to take the spotlight away from the younger ones. However, as there is no way to cram 600+ pages worth of details into 2.5 hours, many plot points are left out and would likely cause confusion amongst the uninitiated. So all in all, a thumbs up from me on the question of Harry Potter.

I also have another confession to make. I've read the entire Twilight series. I wasn't even aware that these books existed until I saw a trailer for the first movie last year. My curiosity was piqued, as I tend to enjoy stories of the supernatural. I was also employed by Borders as a seasonal worker, so I figured it would be a good idea to have some clue as to what teenage girls, and many adults too, were going so crazy about. I, like many others, went through all the books at a rapid pace. I will give Stephenie Meyer credit for creating a story that engendered such an addiction in so many. However, I find the books intensely problematic, both stylistically and in elements of the story itself.

The writing in general grated on me as I was reading. It seemed to be obviously written toward the narrow audience of the teenage girl. Granted, the narrator and central character is herself a teenage girl, but let me illustrate my point by comparing to the brilliant The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Both are written nominally for a young adult audience, but the Gaiman work is written in such a sophisticated manner as to be appreciated as much, or even more so, by adults. The writing skill is apparent in every line. To a lesser degree, the Harry Potter works also display a higher level of sophistication. The Twilight books have indeed captured a large adult audience, but this seems to be caused more by content than by writing style (which I will address in a future post). The writing in Twilight veers from somewhat simplistic to flowery and melodramatic, the latter shown particularly in the descriptions of the overwhelming beauty of the vampire characters.

I realize that I will have many who vociferously disagree with me on my view of the Twilight series (and more to come when I continue to comment on what irked me about the plot itself!). I welcome any comments that take a different view; I always love hearing a perspective unlike my own and having a good discussion!

What-the-Eff Bear

The genesis of this post was actually a reaction to the trailer for the new GI Joe film, which is scheduled for release on August 7. Now, I must ask, did anyone else have any idea this was supposed to be GI Joe before the title revealed as much? I don't know about the rest of you, but this is my memory of GI Joe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhVYXRSEE1k. And what about "knowing is half the battle?" I am left feeling disillusioned and... old. I suppose it's a sign that many people of my generation now have young children of their own, considering how many of the old shows and toys have made a comeback, albeit in somewhat altered form.

There is another toy and associated cartoon from my childhood, which is still around for children these days, that sprang to mind. What in the world has happened to the Care Bears? There must have been some genetic experimenting going on in Care-a-Lot in the years since I was a kid to produce the characters that are running amok there now. Sure, I remember Friend Bear, Cheer Bear, Grumpy Bear, Funshine Bear, Good Luck Bear, etc... even a couple of those added during the later 80s or early 90s were fairly understandable. Share Bear, Harmony Bear... okay. However, have you seen some of the newer additions to the gang? Superstar Bear? Do-Your-Best Bear? Oopsy Bear?? I... can't continue.

We might as well all make up our own Care Bears. Any suggestions?

Another "horror story"

I was reminding myself to post sort of an addendum to my last entry regarding horror movie stories anyway, and then Deanna made the comment on it and clinched the deal. It's the tale of one Halloween weekend when I went to visit my friends Scott and Donna in Tampa before I lived there. As it was Halloween weekend, we thought it might be fun to get into the spirit and go see The Grudge. Fun... yeah.

What followed was one of the most harrowing cinema experiences that I can remember. Complete with screaming girls in the row behind us. Poor Scott's arms both must have been numb considering he had one of us latched onto either side. Things jumped at the screen so often that I actually uttered the phrase, "I'm exhausted... I'm not sure how much more of this I can take!" After the movie, we formed a human chain all way to the car, and into the house. The mood didn't even wear off at that point, as one of us insisted, "Come upstairs with me; I have to go to the bathroom!" As an added bonus, Sam the cat liked to meow randomly in the night, much like the cat in the movie. (Good thing I didn't have Ace yet at that point, since he both looks and sounds like that cat.) I was roundly mocked by Scott when he came downstairs in the morning and found that I had left the lamp on all night.

Now, I've seen this movie since, and while it's still rather creepy on a small screen in the living room, I believe that our experience was primarily caused by perfect fright conditions. Halloween weekend, pitch-black theater, surround sound, screaming girls behind us... we never had a chance.

(If anyone read Deanna's comment to my last post and is wondering what the part about the butt means, there is a scene in which Buffy - it's stuck; I have a really hard time calling her Sarah Michelle Gellar - is showering and something starts to come out of the back of her head. Based on the glimpse shown in the trailers, dad and Deanna thought it looked rather like a butt. I had to assure them that it wasn't; I believe it was in fact supposed to be a fist.)

What I should have done to make the scariness go away was check out the 30 Second Bunny Theater version, found here: http://www.angryalien.com/aa/grudgebuns.asp. 30 Second Bunny Theater makes everything a little better.

So, why do I watch horror movies again? Anybody else have a good being-scared-out-of-their-wits story?

One by one...

Those of you who know me are aware that I have always had a bit of a weakness for the horror genre. In recent years I haven't indulged the weakness all that often, which I think may be a function of living in an apartment by myself. You never know when those miners with pickaxes are going to be hiding in your closet or under the bed.

(At this point, let me take the opportunity to apologize to my friend John for My Bloody Valentine 3D. But at the very least, when else have you gotten to see so many various severed body parts flying toward you in dazzling 3D? And those plastic glasses are stylin'.)

I have a couple thoughts about the horror genre in general. First, if I'm going to watch a slasher flick, there needs to be an element of "fun" to it. That sounds like a horrible contradiction in terms, but if you think about it, if there isn't a tongue-in-cheek sort of feel to the film, it feels too much like reality and just becomes grisly and unpleasant. Also, it seems that Hollywood has completely lost sight of what is actually scary, figuring that more buckets of blood thrown at the screen = scarier. If I want to freak myself out, I'll go for some of the Japanese horror that has come out in the last several years, i.e. The Ring or The Grudge.

(Another interruption here to relay tales of how my friend Chuck has tormented me over the years... after I had first watched The Ring, brilliantly while my roommate at the time was out of town for the weekend, I got on the computer to chat with friends and calm myself down before I went to sleep. I told Chuck this, at which point he told me to visit a hyperlink he sent me and that it would make me feel better. Upon clicking on it, I came face to face with that scary little girl from the movie, and had to stay up for another few hours. Then there was the time a group of us went to our friend Gabe's family's cabin in the woods of Maine and he threatened to put little piles of rocks by my bed or stand in the corner after I'd seen the Blair Witch project. I've just told him I'm sharing these stories and he still thinks it's funny.)

Anyway, my latest guilty pleasure was the 13-episode "mystery" series on CBS entitled Harper's Island, which just had its finale last weekend. I think the purpose was actually more about dispatching people during each episode in creative and nasty ways than it was about solving a mystery, but that's as may be. In any case, I got sucked in during the second episode when I happened upon it while flipping through the channels. I also personally got three other people addicted, which was kind of fun. The premise was that a wedding party was headed to Harper's Island, off the coast of Washington state. Some years back there had been a series of murders there committed by someone named John Wakefield. One of the victims was the mother of the main character. Once the group arrives on the island, the murders begin again, and at least one person dies each episode. Entertaining it was, but scary it wasn't (although there was a creepy little girl, who uttered the words in the title of the blog... creepy children seem to be a popular horror element). The ending was underdeveloped and didn't make that much sense, but what can one really expect from a summer horror show on network television? The website also kept it within my slasher flick-watching rules by having a "Pick the Victim" contest each week and periodically posting an "Interviews with the Dead" segment in which they ask the actors who were killed off in the previous episode how they would have liked their characters to die. For the curious, and other closet bad-horror fans out there, the website is here: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/harpers_island/

Incidentally, I took a How Long Would You Survive in a Horror Film quiz on Facebook, and was informed that I would be the first to die, as I was clearly too female to survive for long. The quiz result then tried to console me by saying it was kind of an honor to be killed first, as the good people of America pay good money to see hot chicks get cut up into pieces clad in revealing clothes. Well, okay, I suppose that's all right then...

Tales from One Longfellow Square, Part 2

Well, this time there was no de-pantsing, guys peeing in bushes, pop icon deaths or even Paul Simon driveway performances in the wee hours of the morning. What there was, was a really awesome show.

The description on the One Longfellow Square site quoted the Portland Phoenix as writing, "Portland has the biggest crush on Pete Kilpatrick"... and why not? He's adorable. He's also a very entertaining performer, whether he was playing his songs accompanied only by his own guitar, or sharing his lovely sense of humor. Plus, he threw a line from a classic Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory song into one of his own (*sings* Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination...) ...how can you not love that?

Maia Sharp is my hero. She's a great songwriter, has a lovely voice, and accompanies her singing with her guitar, or sometimes keyboard, on occasion pausing to pull out a soprano sax and wailing away on it. Not only this, but she connects with her audience. It's no wonder she received such adoration from the crowd. She even taught us the importance of leaving your audience with a major triad at the end of a melancholy song.

Whenever I think of singer-songwriters, such as these two acts, I think of a quote from one of my very favorites, Elliott Smith. He pointed out that one person might look at a photo of New York and think it looked very depressing and frightening, while another might think about all the fun things you can do in New York; songs are kind of like that. Check out that quote and a beautiful performance of Waltz #2 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnqjZzMscFo

Tales from One Longfellow Square, Part 1

My first show volunteering at One Longfellow Square here in Portland on June 25 was part of a very surreal 24 hours. Before launching into my tale, I'd like to give a shout-out ("Hey!") to Tim and Lucy for indirectly and directly (respectively) getting me involved with this lovely little venue.
Anyway, my day began long before it ever should have around 3am, when I was awakened by the dulcet tones of someone singing Me and Julio, accompanied by guitar, somewhere in the vicinity of the driveway of my building. I'm pretty sure that I wasn't hallucinating or dreaming this, although it was kind of that muzzy half-asleep reaction: "What the f... is someone...out there... singing... what?" Thankfully, this was the performer's final song and I was able to get a few more hours' worth of sleep.

The second bit of...surreality, if you will, occurred when I had arrived at One Longfellow and Lucy returned not only with her miso soup from King of the Roll, but also the news that Michael Jackson was dead. Being raised in the music video era, as many of us were, I was stunned. Whatever one thought of the man, and whatever he may have become, his influence on the music world cannot be quantified. Still reeling from this news, I settled in to enjoy some of the show. I was impressed by Aly Spaltro's (aka Lady Lamb the Beekeeper's) ability to multitask given the change in her act from duo to one-woman show. I was also touched by her cover of "These Days", originally by Jackson Browne and featured, in a version by Nico, in the Royal Tenenbaums. And then... came Feel it Robot. This band from Bangor brought along a group of followers who were more than ready to join them in dancing the remainder of the night away. Energy was certainly not lacking, and honestly it was difficult to keep a smile from my face as I watched. I was occasionally startled by the keyboard player as he left his post to go tearing around the room. However, I still wasn't entirely prepared when the entire band, and a good portion of the audience, dropped their pants in the middle of a number. Granted, the refrain to the song featured the lyrics "take off your pants", but it's still not a command you might expect to be taken literally. As this turn of events was something that needed to be shared, I slipped out to the bar and said, "Uh, Lucy, the entire band just dropped trou out there." And Feel it Robot actually stayed pantless for the remainder of the show.

But my evening wasn't quite over yet. As I took my leave and began the short walk home, I heard a suspicious rustling in the bushes to my left, and upon turning my head, saw a man facing the bushes, evidently having been in dire need of relieving himself. Not only that, but he felt the need also to apologize to me as I walked by: "Sorry, kiddo... sorry." I'm just grateful he didn't turn around.

There ended my adventures for the day. I return to One Longfellow Square tomorrow as a patron, for the Maia Sharp/Pete Kilpatrick show, to which I am very much looking forward, although there may not be nearly so much excitement to the evening! I will report on the show later in the week.

I also have to mention a new song obsession... Sweetie Pie by Ivana XL. I heard this song on Friday while watching the final installment of the web series at HarpersGlobe.com. I found it beautiful and haunting, and it drew me right in. (Note: Yes, I became addicted to Harper's Island, and its supplemental web series, right from the beginning... the finale was just last night, so a post will undoubtedly be forthcoming on this topic!)

I bid you farewell as we begin a new week...

Guinea pigs and "greedy little bastards"

I felt the need to expound on a Facebook status I posted a couple days ago, when I was stupefied by a movie trailer featuring animated guinea pigs outfitted in spy gear. Not only that, but this is a 3D Jerry Bruckheimer production. It was one of those moments when, had I been on the phone, I would have stopped mid-sentence and then forgotten completely what I had been talking about. (Side note: This actually happened not too long ago, coincidentally because of a different type of animated rodent in a commercial. I lost power of conversation when a couple animated hamsters drove a Kia down the street while rocking out to the stereo's beat. Hey, that rhymes. Anyway, perhaps I should no longer be surprised by animated rodents, since this appears to be a trend.) Back to the guinea pigs. After the initial shock, something possessed me to find the website for this film, which is entitled G-Force. At this point I was assaulted with images of said guinea pigs flying at the computer screen, accompanied by a rather obnoxiously loud pop song ("Jump" by Flo Rida featuring Nelly Furtado... I also had to look this up since I had no idea). It was all a little too much and I've still not completely recovered.
Now, I can see where this might have appeal to a certain audience. My friend Alyssa commented that it was sort of genius considering that her 2 1/2 year old nephew has been begging her to take him to the guinea pig movie every day for a week. Also, the capabilities of modern computer animation are to be admired. As my stepmom Deanna commented, there is an odd realness about it. But not too much realness... I had a guinea pig named Cleo growing up, and she never participated in such antics. Or maybe she was just such a good spy that I never knew...

On another topic altogether (because that's quite enough about animated anthropomorphized rodents), I love when I can be endlessly amused by song lyrics. On the drive to work today, I happened to be listening to "Had Enough" by Breaking Benjamin. What chiefly makes this tune fun is the fact that it is just pure, straightforward vitriol, and contains one of the most entertaining insults that I have ever heard expressed in song. The refrain begins thusly:
"You had to have it all, well have you had enough, you greedy little bastard, you will get what you deserve". I think that's just great. And I suppose also that we've all known some greedy little bastards we'd like to serenade. Does anyone else out there have a favorite song insult?

Until next time...

Look! I'm blogging!

So, I've given in and started a blog of my very own. I haven't had one in the past, mainly because a) I didn't know if I'd be keeping up with it on a regular basis and b) I didn't know as anyone would particularly want to read what I had to say. I've started one now because a) I've remembered how much I love to write and b) it doesn't really matter if anyone reads what I have to say if I'm enjoying writing it! I always manage to entertain myself, so if I can entertain anyone else who may be reading, that's definitely a bonus. I also need to give props to my friend John Swinconeck, who introduced me to the fun when he invited me to be a guest writer on his music blog, thefiver.net. (Go read it when you're done here; it's good stuff!!)

What I'll write about here will definitely change from post to post. As the title of the blog suggests, I am a great lover of all things "pop culture"... music, books, movies, television, sports... you name it, I probably enjoy it. This became apparent from a very early age. A story my parents love to tell is that of my first movie theater experience. At the age of three, I sat through the Great Muppet Caper in rapt attention, and when it was over, I promptly burst into tears. I also was treated to at least one trip to Great Woods (yes, it shall always be Great Woods, no matter what the sign says) each year starting around age 8, and astonished my family by picking up such books as Jaws and Watership Down long before I ever could have been expected to do so. I'm not an expert by any means on any of these media... I just like a lot of stuff!

I also may recount various little absurdities that happen to me from time to time, such as the incident recently when I accidentally set the contents of my recycle bin on fire. I'm not making that up; things like this happen to me all the time. I was actually lighting a candle when the match lit, broke in half, and sailed directly into the recycle bin. Thankfully I was able to get it out before it hit the newspaper...

Anyway, all that sort of fun and more to come. That's why I thought it would be fun to name the link thekateofalltrades.blogspot.com. Kind of like a Jack of all trades, but not really. As we learned in Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book, Jacks of All Trades are pretty scary. (If you haven't read The Graveyard Book, shame on you. Please line up to be hit in the head with a copy before you read.)

If you've gotten this far, intrepid reader, I congratulate you. Feel free to stop by anytime and see what I have to say... and share your own thoughts should you feel so inclined.